Ouroboros
by Haberdashing
Summary: Transcendence AU fic. A man summons Alcor seeking an act of petty revenge. If you're afraid of snakes, you might want to skip this one.


Alcor's latest summoner had thin graying hair and wore silver-rimmed glasses and a black suit as pristine as Alcor's own. His appearance seemed vaguely familiar in a way that Alcor couldn't place, not helped by its bland and unoriginal attempts at conveying Importance. The man's hands did not waver or his gaze stray as he uttered staid greetings and banalities, but his aura swirled with vibrant greens and reds betraying the emotions that he was working so hard to hide.

Alcor yawned, not bothering to conceal his lack of interest in his summoner's lengthy speech that he had already halfway tuned out. Finally, he raised a clawed finger and muttered, "Get҉ to t̛he͡ ͜p̢oin̢t."

The man blinked, then nodded, his blank expression unchanged.

"I want you to make it rain on her wedding day."

Alcor's mind wandered to thoughts of Mabel's wedding day not so long ago, of how beautiful it had been, how he wouldn't have given up that day for the world.

"Ample payback for her rejection, I daresay." the man continued. "And perhaps after her ceremony is ruined, she'll come to her senses, break up with that damnable woman, and give me another chance."

Alcor crossed his arms and floated over to the edge of the summoning circle. "And what will you give me in return?"

"This." The man reached into his suit pocket and retrieved a large silver bracelet, resting it in the palm of his hand.

Alcor inched his way past the chalk-lined boundary encircling him, then darted forward, staring into his summoner's eyes all the while. The man didn't give him the satisfaction of flinching or backing away or gasping or signalling in any way that such conduct was unexpected. A natural-born poker player, that one.

The metal of the bracelet glimmered in the moonlight, highlighting the intricate pattern of scales that lined it. Alcor's index finger rested on the bracelet and traced its length, feeling each one of its bumps and ridges. The bracelet's width tapered nearly to a point before being interrupted by a realistic snake's head, deep red gems set where its eyes should be, sharp fangs clenched onto its own tail.

"An ouroboros," he murmured.

The man nodded tensely, his mouth forming a tight smile. "A symbol of my eternal love. I was going to present it to Megumi on her birthday- she always liked snakes, God knows why- but I think that's rather out of the question at this point. It's custom-made from sterling silver, the eyes are rubies, and it's imbued with a luck charm for good measure."

His finger circled the bracelet one more time before he nodded in approval. "Good enough for me."

"And before we make the arrangement final, I just want to be clear- I don't want just a little drizzle during the vows. It needs to rain throughout the ceremony and the reception- better yet, throughout the entire wedding day. And when I say rain, I mean a heavy rain, a _bad_ rain. One that they will never forget."

Alcor grinned, revealing his dual sets of teeth. "I͡ can ̷d̨o͢ t̨hat."

"I certainly hope so." The summoner extended his hand, his smile growing wider, revealing a set of impeccably white teeth. "We have a deal."

The man's handshake was firm, but not overbearing. A practiced one, though the odds were good that though the act was not new to him, the circumstances presently surrounding it were.

Alcor slid the bracelet onto his own wrist, suppressing a chuckle as he vanished into the mindscape.

.

Roger tossed and turned in his bed, silken sheets clinging to his legs. The anticipation that filled his thoughts made sleep nigh-impossible.

It was foolish, he knew, to dwell on this so much. The odds of it changing anything in the long run were slim. But if he managed to find even a single picture of a distraught Megumi in a soaking-wet wedding dress, that would make it all worthwhile. It was _her_ turn to be the disappointed one now.

After he had consoled her upon her grandfather's death, after giving her tips about how to work her way up the corporate ladder, after a plethora of compliments and kind words bestowed upon her… that woman hadn't even hesitated before turning him down.

He flopped from one side to the other.

The nerve of her. She really should have known better.

And not only rejecting him, but then immediately hooking up with that girl- Rosalie, was it? She could have had the decency to at least wait a week or two before flaunting her new girlfriend to him. Rubbing salt in the wound right there. Oh, _sure_ she still wanted to be friends, but only if he could respect her _new relationship_! What was that about? Was she _trying_ to hurt him, to push him away? Because if so, well, it certainly worked.

Roger took a deep breath and closed his eyes, though he doubted that his attempts at getting sleep were anything but a pretense at this point.

And that Rose-whatever was a nobody! Just some artist! Of all people Megumi could have chosen, why her?

He glanced at the clock. 11:58.

It was an early night for him, and his schedule the whole week was relatively unoccupied. Usually he'd enjoy such free time. But now it just left him alone with thoughts that ate at him, questions that would forever remain unanswered.

What was wrong with him? What could he possibly be lacking that would make her choose that woman over him? It must be her problem. That would figure, having-

 _Thump_.

Roger opened his eyes and scrabbled around for his glasses before indelicately shoving them onto his face. He might as well give up the charade at this point and do something with his waking hours.

 _Thump. Thump._

He scooted his way to the edge of the bed, his feet brushing against the carpeted floor below. That noise didn't sound good. Was something wrong with his house? He just bought the place, if there were any problems he was going to _sue_ that realtor-

 _Thumpthumpthump._

Roger slid into his white slippers and wandered through the house, trying to pinpoint the source of the noise, but with no success. No matter where he went, it just became louder and more frequent.

 _Thumpthumpthumpthump eeeeeeeeeee!_

A shiver ran down his spine as the thumping was interrupted with a screech, the voice recognizable as that of his elderly next-door neighbor, the one that he privately thought owned too many cars for her own good. Roger sprinted outside, blood rushing as he prepared to engage with whatever force had so frightened old Mrs. Whitley…

And promptly slipped on something and toppled to the ground, knees scraping against the cement sidewalk.

 _Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump-_

He ungracefully pushed himself off the ground, then looked down to find the cause of his fall.

The search didn't take long, but at its end, Roger had to stifle a scream of his own.

Snakes.

His yard was covered in snakes.

 _Thump. Thump. Thump…_

.

"Do you, Megumi, take Rosalind to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Megumi tried to keep her hands from shaking and her feet from tapping against the floor, but it was hard to stay calm and collected when all she could think was _it's happening it's finally really happening this is the day_!

"I do." She managed to keep her voice steady as she said those two words, though it required some effort to speak without her voice filling with the emotion ready to burst out of her.

"And do you, Rosalind, take Megumi to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Rosalind's blushing face was almost as red as her brightly-dyed hair as she answered, "I do."

"You may now kiss the bride."

They didn't have to be asked twice. The two ran to meet one another, hands wrapping around each other's backs as their lips made contact- and then, in her haste, Megumi knocked her forehead against Rosalind's. The kiss was broken, replaced with a shared fit of giggles, and Rosalind picked her up and twirled her around as she had done so many times before and their laughter just grew louder. They forgot about the crowd, the ceremony, everything but the two of them, how they were together now for good, never to be parted.

Somebody coughed, and the two were brought back to earth, Megumi physically as well as metaphorically. They gave one another one more quick kiss- so soft, so warm, so _right_ \- before breaking their embrace and standing at arm's length, still breaking into subdued laughter as they stared at one another.

And if teardrops were snaking their way down both faces and smudging their make-up, well, that was nobody's business but their own.

.

"- _appears to be centered around Canberra, though reports have come from as far as_ -"

"Whatcha watching, Dipdops?"

Dipper blinked, his intense gaze redirected from the television screen to his sister's face.

"Just the news."

"Which is apparently important enough to interrupt my show." Grunkle Stan grumbled.

"Hey, you can watch _The Betrothal of Baroness de Serpico_ tomorrow, but this news is only going to be on once."

Stan rolled his eyes.

"- _will have more live coverage here at News Australia as_ -"

"Did that say News Australia?" Mabel wrinkled her nose. "Do we even get that channel?"

"We do now."

"And what's going on over there that you're so interested in anyway?"

"- _now to Prime Minister Houlihan's address._ "

The screen cut to a picture of a man standing behind a podium, his suit perfectly tailored, his eyes directed at the camera as he cleared his throat.

As the man began to speak, Dipper burst into laughter.

" _He's_ the prime minister of Australia? No wonder I thought I'd seen him before! Oh, this is _perfect_ \- guys, I think I'll go pay him a visit, I'll be right back."

And before his relatives could stammer out a protest or request an explanation, he was gone.

Prime Minister Houlihan was still blathering away when he showed up, floating on the man's left side at approximately shoulder height. Dipper remained silent at first, curious how long it would take the prime minister- or the gaggle of reporters surrounding him- to notice his presence.

It didn't take long for the pointing and screaming to begin.

The prime minister, however, merely shut his mouth for a moment, then turned to the demon and said, in a voice as calm and collected as ever, "Was this your doing?"

"Yours and mine. Thanks for the bracelet, by the way." Dipper reached out and ruffled the man's hair, which proved to be even thinner than it had appeared.

"I don't know what you're-"

"You wanted bad rain. I delivered. Though it doesn't seem to have reached in here… let's fix that, shall we?" Dipper snapped his fingers, and the podium was surrounded by a ring of snakes that inched their way closer to the man.

At this, Houlihan's facial expression faltered, his eyes widening and the corners of his mouth drooping as he directed his gaze away from the demon and onto the ground.

"Don't worry, they'll be gone at midnight- it won't be her wedding day after that, right?" Dipper broke out into a grin as he watched the man's face fall, the illusion of unflappable determination finally shattering.

One of the snakes slithered its way onto the man's polished black shoe and curled up around it. Two others climbed their way up the podium, and the rest continued tightening the circle until the prime minister was boxed in, his every step blocked by a mass of writhing serpents.

The silence that then fell was broken not by Dipper or Houlihan, but by one of the reporters remaining on the scene.

"Prime Minister Houlihan, can you-"

And after one of their number had gathered the courage to speak, the rest of the reporters joined in.

"Mister Houlihan, sir-"

"Alcor, are you-"

"Does this mean that-"

"Prime Minister, I-"

Dipper felt that this was a good time to make his way back home. His work here was done, after all.

Houlihan's look of desperation and terror as displayed on the television screen couldn't compare to the real thing, but it was still quite the sight to behold.

"Now, what was all that about?" Mabel's hands were on her hips and she stood up tall, and even though with her back perfectly straight the woman barely surmounted the five foot mark, she still intimidated him more than any prime minister ever could.

Dipper turned away from the TV and slumped his shoulders as he tried to figure out his response.

.

Megumi flopped onto the bed back-first, her limbs splayed out, her hands clutching the thick red sheets.

"This is so comfortable. I feel like I could just… just fall into this blanket and never come out. Become one with it." The woman flopped onto her belly, burying her face in the blanket, her voice muffled. "There is no Meg. There is only bed."

Rosalind sat down on the bed, her long legs stretched out as her toes brushed against the off-white carpet. "I'd really rather stay married to you as _you_ , not as some sort of… human-bed combo thing."

"That's not nice." Megumi turned her head to face her wife, the rest of her body still nestled in the blankets. "You're not respecting my lifestyle choices. This is who I am now."

"Well, don't get too comfortable in there. I don't want you falling asleep before the _real_ fun starts." Rosalind waggled her eyebrows.

Megumi flailed around into a sitting position, legs crossed as she looked over at Rosalind. "Oh my GOD, Rozie! Did you really just say that?" She grabbed a pillow and bopped Rosalind on the head repeatedly with it. "You're horrible!"

"You know you love it." Rosalind stuck her tongue out, only for it to be hit with a pillow. She grimaced as the two made contact, then broke into a devilish smile. "But you know… this means war."

And in a flash, those soft sheets became just another implement of attack, pillows flying as the two women scrambled for more ammunition for their impromptu battle.

Their fight was only interrupted when they heard the loud _clang!_ of metal against wood.

Rosalind stood still, towering over the bed with her head nearly bumping the ceiling, dropping the pillow that she had been holding onto Megumi's legs. "Shit, what was that?"

Megumi scurried out from under the pillow and over to the nightstand from where the noise had originated. "If something broke, I'm blaming you."

Slowly, gingerly, Rosalind dropped into a sitting position on the bed. "Hey, you started it."

"Well, you- wait, what is this?" Megumi grabbed onto a silver bracelet, then held it up to the light of the nearby lamp, its shade already helpfully crooked so as to let more light in their direction. The bracelet was in the shape of a snake eating its own tail, and she couldn't see any scratches on it, though any damage could easily have been hidden by the pattern of scales engraved into it. "How did that get here?"

The two women looked at one another.

"You try it on," they said simultaneously.

Megumi threw the bracelet at Rosalind's head; Rosalind managed to catch it before it could make contact. "You try it first."

"No, you!" Rosalind threw it back, but Megumi's attention was drawn to a piece of paper she found resting next to the lamp on the nightstand, barely noticing when the bracelet bounced off her back and onto the bed.

"Wait, there's some kind of note here. I'll read it, while you try that on."

Rosalind rolled her eyes, but dutifully began shoving her fingers into the bracelet while Megumi picked up the note and read it out loud.

" _Best of luck to the happy couple. A + M_ "

It was written in impossibly curly lettering, save for the plus sign and M, which were rendered in simple, almost childlike handwriting. Megumi flipped it over, then set the paper down when the other side proved to be blank.

"Doesn't fit me." Rosalind concluded, her fingers still lodged inside the bracelet, unable to squeeze it past the palm of her hand. "But maybe you and your tiny baby arms can squeeze in there."

"They're not baby arms, you big dope." Megumi crawled over and yanked the bracelet away, easing it gently onto her own hand and down her arm.

"Looks nice on you."

"Yeah, it does." Megumi spun it around her arm a few times before letting it dangle at her wrist. "So who are A and M?"

Rosalind shrugged. "No idea. I figured you'd know them."

Megumi shook her head. "Not ringing a bell for me, either. But whoever they are, they sure know how to pick out nice jewelry. This thing is perfect."

Rosalind reached out and grabbed Megumi's hand, the two interlacing their fingers.

"The perfect end to a perfect day."


End file.
